Be a Bully or Get Bullied? Which is worse?

More than 3.2 million children globally have been bullied in 2016. As a parent, you can change this number, today.

We read about bullies and their stories every day on Facebook or the newspaper. It disgusts everyone, at least I speak for myself here. But really in this entire situation expect for shaking our heads and saying, “it’s not fair” how many times do we actually step up and act. None, Oh yeah, we do sometimes share a Facebook post telling our friends how sorry we are, but really does that make any difference in real life?

Bullying is something that is is going on for years. It is ok for freshers to be bullied by their seniors. But Hey! No its not ok. Getting to know them, having a  little fun here and there making them do a funny move or sing like Britney Spears ( no offence ) is ok. But it is most definitely not alright to rip someone’s clothes, beat them black and blue, play with emotions or do the hundred other things that either emotionally torture them or eventually kill them!

As a parent, we can most definitely change the number of deaths, the traumas. So what is stopping us? We not only need to educate them about how to fight bullies but it is important to tell them how to not be a bully. We have listed 5 points here, which we explain to our children and it has helped them heaps:

  1.Be a Upstander not a bystander  

Talk to the kids, explain to them it is not ok to stand there and see someone get bullied. They might not be the one in the act but silently watching an innocent kid get hurt and beaten is as bad as doing it. When it comes to bullying, it is not ok to be a bystander, they need to step up and be a upstander. Stop their friend from hurting an innocent kid. It is not ok to bail out of a situation and say I did not do it, it was my friend. It is very important to be your friend’s moral police during times like this.

 

2.Watch your tone  

Know what you talk in front of those impressionable minds. Refrain from talking about caste, colour, nationality or gender. What we talk at home these kids pick up immediately and make it their own moto. Go ahead ask your kids, how they feel about Donald Trump and they will use your words to describe their feelings, they feel that’s the ultimate truth.

In fact, here I would say instead of just refraining ourselves of what we say why don’t we use a bit of active surveillance for ourselves and we too avoid judging people based on things that barely matter!

Love, Respect & Spread!

 

3. Dinnertime Conversation

Use this dinnertime to talk to your children about their day and make sure you tell them about yours. As much as you want to be a part of your child’s every moment make sure they know sufficient about yours as well. Create an environment where they feel comfortable sharing their day with you.

Move your conversations beyond grades and subjects. Get to know them ask them about their friends and teachers. Ask them how was recess? What did they play? With whom did they share lunch? How was the bus ride like back home? These small conversations will lead you to know whether your child is happy in school has friends or is just being left alone. Focus on the details, encourage the children to talk more and share more stories with you. The moment you feel the children are being bullied or left out, help them out. Read the point below.

Words are powerful!

 

  4.Share Stories

Kids need to know real life stories and not the Happily Ever After’s. Tell your children how you were bullied or how you bullied others, whichever is true. Don’t makeup stories to sound heroic. Quote real-life examples. Tell them how you felt about it and today when you look back how could have you done things differently. Share your joys and regrets. Don’t worry about tearing up, if that happens to you, remember they are your own kids. They need to see the real you, only then will they find the real them.

 

We all have to share a little story.

  

5. Fight back

No physical violence, please. I recently met a 6-year-old kid who taught me a line “One word is equal to a million words!” This kid has been constantly bullied in school and the only response he has for his teasers is “SO!” this leaves the bullies with no comeback.

Usually, children run to parents and teachers for everything little. But it is not a healthy habit. They cant be doing it every time things go sour. Children need to take the strings in their own hands and help themselves. They need to know how and even to when back.

Tell the kids to be witty and funny, if someone calls you fat, answer back by saying “ yeah I know!” or “so what” or “I look nice, right?” and walk away. The bullies need to know their opinions don’t really matter.

Know when to talk!

 

Hope you share these little things with your children and help save more lives.

 

Is there something beyond the normal bullying?

Be a Bully or Get Bullied? Which is worse?

More than 3.2 million children globally have been bullied in 2016. As a parent, you can change this number, today.

We read about bullies and their stories every day on Facebook or the newspaper. It disgusts everyone, at least I speak for myself here. But really in this entire situation expect for shaking our heads and saying, “it’s not fair” how many times do we actually step up and act. None, Oh yeah, we do sometimes share a Facebook post telling our friends how sorry we are, but really does that make any difference in real life?

Bullying is something that is is going on for years. It is ok for freshers to be bullied by their seniors. But Hey! No its not ok. Getting to know them, having a  little fun here and there making them do a funny move or sing like Britney Spears ( no offence ) is ok. But it is most definitely not alright to rip someone’s clothes, beat them black and blue, play with emotions or do the hundred other things that either emotionally torture them or eventually kill them!

As a parent, we can most definitely change the number of deaths, the traumas. So what is stopping us? We not only need to educate them about how to fight bullies but it is important to tell them how to not be a bully. We have listed 5 points here, which we explain to our children and it has helped them heaps: 

  1.Be a Upstander not a bystander  

Talk to the kids, explain to them it is not ok to stand there and see someone get bullied. They might not be the one in the act but silently watching an innocent kid get hurt and beaten is as bad as doing it. When it comes to bullying, it is not ok to be a bystander, they need to step up and be a upstander. Stop their friend from hurting an innocent kid. It is not ok to bail out of a situation and say I did not do it, it was my friend. It is very important to be your friend’s moral police during times like this. 

 

2.Watch your tone  

Know what you talk in front of those impressionable minds. Refrain from talking about caste, colour, nationality or gender. What we talk at home these kids pick up immediately and make it their own moto. Go ahead ask your kids, how they feel about Donald Trump and they will use your words to describe their feelings, they feel that’s the ultimate truth.

In fact, here I would say instead of just refraining ourselves of what we say why don’t we use a bit of active surveillance for ourselves and we too avoid judging people based on things that barely matter!

Love, Respect & Spread!

 

 

3. Dinnertime Conversation

Use this dinnertime to talk to your children about their day and make sure you tell them about yours. As much as you want to be a part of your child’s every moment make sure they know sufficient about yours as well. Create an environment where they feel comfortable sharing their day with you.

Move your conversations beyond grades and subjects. Get to know them ask them about their friends and teachers. Ask them how was recess? What did they play? With whom did they share lunch? How was the bus ride like back home? These small conversations will lead you to know whether your child is happy in school has friends or is just being left alone. Focus on the details, encourage the children to talk more and share more stories with you. The moment you feel the children are being bullied or left out, help them out. Read the point below. 

Words are powerful!

  4.Share Stories

Kids need to know real life stories and not the Happily Ever After’s. Tell your children how you were bullied or how you bullied others, whichever is true. Don’t makeup stories to sound heroic. Quote real-life examples. Tell them how you felt about it and today when you look back how could have you done things differently. Share your joys and regrets. Don’t worry about tearing up, if that happens to you, remember they are your own kids. They need to see the real you, only then will they find the real them. 

 

We all have to share a little story.

  

5. Fight back

No physical violence, please. I recently met a 6-year-old kid who taught me a line “One word is equal to a million words!” This kid has been constantly bullied in school and the only response he has for his teasers is “SO!” this leaves the bullies with no comeback.

Usually, children run to parents and teachers for everything little. But it is not a healthy habit. They cant be doing it every time things go sour. Children need to take the strings in their own hands and help themselves. They need to know how and even to when back.

Tell the kids to be witty and funny, if someone calls you fat, answer back by saying “ yeah I know!” or “so what” or “I look nice, right?” and walk away. The bullies need to know their opinions don’t really matter. 

Know when to talk!

 

Hope you share these little things with your children and help save more lives.